I haven’t really written much this year, I kept meaning to, but life just kept happening!
She survived, initially. But the next week was a draining marathon of the hospital, and arranging for hospice. We brought her home, and she passed not more than two days later.
She was ninety-two, this beautiful woman, and so though her passing brought me grief, I’ve been aware that it is in now way tragic. But still, the next month was full as I helped my mother go through her things, as I helped plan a memorial, as I just helped.
And then something else happened, something beautiful!
A week and a day after she passed I took a test, the kind you pee on.
As of this writing I am nearly ten weeks pregnant!
I wasn’t sure I was ready for happy, but I was happy anyway. And this new joy and promise of life eased the sting of loss.
But pregnant is no simple thing for me, so doctor appointment has quickly piled on top of doctor appointment.
It’s been a pretty intense year so far.
And things keep coming!
It is crazy and heart wrenching, beautiful and wild, this thing called life.
It can be so hard to slow down and be still in these moments, no matter how much I know that it is to be still that I so desperately need.
Focus, turn the eyes, look to Christ!
Friends, He is our refuge and hope, our only sure foundation when the world shakes us.
It’s in Him I place the life that is growing in my womb, I have no control over this promise.
It is hope in Him that reminds me that I haven’t seen the last of my dear Grandmother, and that I will hold her hand again someday.
One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tend I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:4-8, 13-14
I’m going to try to get back into blogging, but I anticipate I might be less regular than ever in my updates. I do ask that my readers keep my family and my pregnancy in prayer. God has brought me through before, He can do it again.