I’m reading a news story, and I’m horrified.

A mother admitting to killing and hiding six of her own new-born babies over the course of a decade.

How could this happen?

I was supposed to write about respect today. It’s in my schedule. It would probably already be written if it wasn’t for the unpredictability of life, currently manifesting in a toddler with a fever, having a headache and a bit of sniffles myself, and a father landing himself in the ER with Gall Bladder issues. Prayers on all fronts would be appreciated.

Anyway, as I was reading this story about this woman, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How could she do this? I don’t know the woman and can’t even begin to delve into her mind, but I do wonder if it isn’t just a symptom in a never ending issue, a disease, we have in our society today.

A loss of Respect for life, and for our fellowman.

It’s odd because in some ways we’ve come a long way. The civil rights movement has come far in asking that all people be respected as human beings who deserve rights like any other, without regard for race or gender.

Still, sometimes I wonder if this isn’t just an outward change. Laws requiring better treatment for certain groups. And certainly those laws may be necessary, but maybe its their very necessity that shows up the problem. The problem in the heart.

Let me ask you a question:

What makes someone worthy of respect?

Is it the persons kindness that does it? Or their justice? Their ability to be a great boss? Their integrity in the home? Their strength?

In a street gang respect is something you earn through a display of how tough you can be. In a church by the words that you say. In the workplace by how successful you are.

Would it surprise you that I would say that none of these things is what makes someone worthy of respect?

If you think about it, it becomes unsurprising that our respect of life has decreased if we are basing it only on what a person does. After all, a child has yet to do anything at all. The aged and infirm become less and less capable of contribution. The mentally and physically disabled don’t seem to add to society, but drain it.

For many years I’ve seen this as caused by an era of unfettered selfishness. A time where “I” reigns supreme, and what “I” need and want take precedence. A time when the mere existence of a human life that is so young it can’t depend on itself may be snuffed out because it will take to much commitment from “I” to care for and nurture it.

But now I’m seeing another reason, and this reason in some ways is the mirror to the first.

Recently my family was presented with a difficult situation. I won’t go into as it needs not gong into, but it held a very personal journey for me. One in which I wrestled with what kind of treatment I deserved or did not deserve from another person. One in which I wrestled with my own needs to be respected, and if I had a right to them.

Faults in myself were pointed out, failures on my part to fulfill expectations, and I wondered how I could prove myself, fight for myself.

I finally came to a place where I realized I didn’t need to.

I did not really owe this individual anything, and what I did or did not do was between myself and God and not up for this persons judgment. Once more, I was not due the disrespect that was being given me, no matter what the claims. I was worthy of respect. Not because of what I had or hadn’t done, but simply because I am a Child of God, and as a person, like any other, deserve respect. No reason more, no reason less.

You see, Respect is not something you are due because of what you do, it is because of who you are.

I think this is hard for our society to grasp. We are a “doing” country. A world where people had respect simply from title is something we fought to be rid of. And though I see the good in that, I think we lost an important concept at the same time. Trust may be lost, but respect is always due.

The Presidential office is always worthy of respect, no matter your thoughts on the person in it, it doesn’t matter. You respect the President because he IS the President. (though its still prudent to vote out a poor one.)

If your boss isn’t very good at his job, and you go about complaining about it in a disrespectful way, you’ll find you are the one who gets the short end of the stick. His position demands respect.

Some of the worst and most heart-wrenching church breakups will stem out of people who, when disagreeing with the pastor, decide he is not worthy of respect in how they do so. Gossip and back-biting grow up until everybody is accusing everybody, and close friends turn on each other.

When your spouse turns out not to be able to fulfill all your needs, your respect for them seems to be the first to go, and the relationship deteriorates.

And when the expectations placed on your children drive them away, the thought may never strike you that what they really needed was for you to respect them as the individuals they are.

God Himself is due respect, not because of what He has done, but because of Who He Is. No reason more, no reason less.

So often it seems I see people waiting on Him to prove Himself to them, as if He owes them anything. He doesn’t.

 

And the bum on the side of the road deserves respect as well, because he too was created by God.

It can feel like almost a violence against a person to demean them. To dismiss their right to respect. And in difficult relationships it can be difficult to respect, and to ask for respect. It’s hard to know how and when to set up boundaries.

But I’m glad I went on this journey, because in so many ways it opened up a new level of understanding of who I am in God’s eyes.

I hope you can understand as well.

Because we are each of us, worthy of respect.

~Joy Aletheia Stevens

Photo Credit: Retired homeless fisherman by Pedro Ribeiro Simões (CC BY 2.0)

Photo Credit: Lifesize Religious King Statue with Spear by epSos .de (CC BY 2.0)

Photo Credit: MOTHERS LOVE by Vinoth Chandra  (CC BY 2.0)