I was in a rather odd emotional space when I jotted down this idea for a blog post a while ago. I was feeling rather lonely and isolated and friendless. Not unusual for young moms I’ve found. But these emotions were just a little to overwhelming. Most people know that feeling when emotions, for no discernible reason, become a bit to big to handle.

It’s not that I actually am friendless, but seeing as I’m for the most part stuck in one place at the moment with no car and only a jabbering toddler for company, and seeing as when I do get out its typically for a grand excursion… to my moms…

Well as much as I love my little girl and my mom… it gets to a point it drives me just a wee bit batty.

So in the middle of a moment of melancholy I jotted down a blog post idea: Feeling Displaced. Am Displaced. World Not My Place.

And even though it came out of a rather dreary place, the idea is actually a beautiful one!

After all where is “My Place?”

At the core of ourselves we are all looking for a place to belong. A certain group to be included in. A certain title to define us. A purpose for our lives. A home. A “place” for our true selves to stretch out and to be.

So what is this “Place?”

Where do we find it?

Do we find it in the daily grind of a successful career? Do we find it in a little child who calls us “Mom” or “Dad?” Do we find it in attaining the popularity to be noticed in our group of peers?

In this life long endeavor to find ourselves and our value, where do we look?

You know, this might sound strange:

When I looked at my Mother as a child her whole self was all wrapped up in the fact that she was my mom, at least in my eyes. She was Mom.

Except, now I’m Mom.

But I’m not Mom.

I’m ME!

I may be a Mom, but that is not actually who I am.

I’ve never had a moment where I became “Mom.” I’m still just myself. My identity was not redefined in having a child. Though my child, like her mother before her, may only see “Mom” in me for a very long time, that does not define who I am.

Our relationships do not define who we are.

My Dad worked for years as an accountant for the state. He rose so high in his particular area of expertise that for several years after he retired they kept wanting him to come back so he could adequately explain to them a system that he had basically helped create.

Because of his status as “Accountant” he’d inevitably be roped into helping with finances at the various churches he would become a member of. He really didn’t enjoy that. Why? Because though my Dad worked for years as an Accountant, and was good at it, he was much more than just “An Accountant.”

His career may have involved a particular skill, but it did not and could not define who he was.

Our abilities do not define who we are.

We tend to define ourselves by making a list of the things that we either can do or would like to be able to do. In essence we describe what we desire to be, aspire to be, and then we try to define ourselves like that. At least that is how we do it if we have a good self image.

If we have a bad self image we tend to realize that those things don’t define us, but because we think they should define us we see ourselves as a failure.

For example on a good day I may define myself as a writer, singer, worshiper, and homemaker. On a bad day I recognize that I may dabble with words but have never been published. That though I love to sing I am not using my singing ability in any way beyond singing around the house right now. That though I aspire to live a worshipful life I can often fall far short. And that my house is anything but “put together” most days.

The truth is that if we wish to define ourselves in our relationships, talents, preferences, hobbies, career, we are going to find many many days where we feel “displaced.” Because quite honestly we are trying to fill a place we were not created to fill.

I’m not saying that we can’t “do” all those things, what I am saying is what we “do” or even “believe” is not who we are.

We are ourselves, and honestly we don’t need defining beyond the definition of “child of God.”

Our culture is obsessed with defining ourselves. But there comes a point when we need to let go and just “be.” To stop trying to fit ourselves into a mold of who we want to be, and just “be.”

After all, we as individuals are more beautifully complex than any definition could possibly give credence to. We have more depth, and variety in our souls than even we know of.

In fact, the only One who knows us fully is God. And the only place where we will never feel displaced is in His heart.

It’s a thought that just occurs to me. We all know the idea of God coming and living in our “heart.” We also understand the idea that what we love has a place in our hearts.

We are loved by God more than we can ever fathom.

We have a place in God’s heart.

And right there, right at the center of His love, that is where we belong. That is our place. And that is all we need to define us.

~Joy Aletheia Stevens

Photo Credit: Girl by Window by Demi-Brooke (CC BY 2.0)  

Photo Credit: Red Haired Woman on a Dock by Bob Jagendorf (CC BY 2.0)

Photo Credit: Rain by Mark Sebastian (CC BY-SA 2.0)