I tend to have a lot to say.

I guess you’d need to, to have a blog. I’ve certainly been surprised that I’ve been able to generate the amount of content I’ve been putting out with relative ease. I guess I have even more to say then I knew.

So why is it that when it comes to speaking out in front of people about the subjects deepest to my heart that I hesitate?

The internet is in so many ways a safe way to express these thoughts, but when it comes to speaking out to real, live people who could reject me? I hesitate.

Why?

I water down what I think, what I believe, based on my audience.

I sometimes even do so here, hesitating from saying what I know as truth because it might offend.

I don’t wish to offend.

But the gospel by its very nature is offensive.

The gospel, by its very nature, says, “you are in the wrong.”

The gospel, by its very nature, says, “you can not choose what is or isn’t right.”

The gospel, by its very nature, says, “your actions condemn you.”

None of these things are nice things to say. They are offensive. But to get to the glory and beauty, the grace and triumph of the gospel you have to travel through all these harsh and offensive statements.

I’m not a very confrontational person. I tend to avoid confrontational people and situations at all costs. So to confront the sin and death at work in the world and actually voice the thought that it IS sin and death…

Well I’d just rather leave well enough alone.

But I like speaking in front of people. I confess I love it when I feel like I’ve said something interesting or intelligent. I confess that sometimes I look back and realize I was speaking only to be heard and thought wise, with little thought to the importance of my words.

After all, words are of immense value. It is humbling to realize that sometimes I use words that sound smart but are of little value, and then avoid using the ones that are of infinite value but may not be as well received.

It’s difficult to realize that in so many ways I value my own reputation more than the gospel.

It’s even more humiliating to admit that I value my own reputation more than a persons soul.

To stare at this part of me, that wants praise and acclaim, and will risk not saying what I know someone desperately needs to hear in order to preserve opinion. I shudder.

I repent in tears and dust and ashes.

But inevitably I get up the next day and commit this same crime and act.

The cost of our words is more than we know.

Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. Proverbs 17:28

To answer before listening- that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13

Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. Proverbs 10:19

In my tongue, in my words, I can gift people with truth and life, or senseless babbling that sounds intelligent. So often I am to busy multiplying more words that I don’t take the time to listen to God and to people to find out what really needs to be done and said. I become insensitive in my grasping for that intelligent feeling.

Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips. Ecclesiastes 10:12

The more words, the less meaning, and how does that profit anyone? Ecclesiastes 6:11

How very often do I play the fool!

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. Matthew 12:36

How many empty words have passed my lips!

But there are words, words of value and of life, precious words, choice words, true words.

But they are not words that will glorify my intelligence.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.” Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. 1 Corinthians 1:18-20&25

That I could be willing to say God’s wise words and be called a fool, instead of speaking many words and actually being one.

I don’t generally deny truth in front of people. But I water it down in order to sound more acceptable to their ears. I tell myself I am speaking graciously because judgment will drive away, and that it partly true. But when I am unwilling to speak plainly when plain speech is needed to reach a soul, because what I say might not be well received.

I sacrifice life for glory. I am a fool.

I pray that I can learn to be willing to be called a fool for the sake of Christ. I pray that this gospel that is so dear to me becomes even more precious so that I will sacrifice my desire to by thought wise. I pray I learn the power of words and value each one that leaves my tongue as gold.

I pray I learn the cost of speech.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 1 Corinthians 3:18

~Joy Aletheia Stevens

Photo Credit: Definitely better on black. by ashraful kadir (CC BY 2.0)

Photo Credit: Conversations by Benson Kua  (CC BY-SA 2.0)   

Photo Credit: Mountain conversations by Kevin Dooley (CC BY 2.0)