The idea that words are harmless is an old one. It’s one we are introduced to on the playground of our young lives and generally was accompanied by a statement about sticks and stones. We’re told at a young age that we shouldn’t be bothered by what people say to us. Of course very often its the very people who are saying such cruel things that are telling us it shouldn’t matter.
After all, we have a right to free speech.
And its true, we do have the right to say whatever we would like in many respects.
That doesn’t mean we should.
And if our speech really is so negative that we even have to think about censoring it, well maybe we need to step back and take a really long, hard look at ourselves.
Because what comes out of our mouths not only is not in any way harmless, but also shows a clear picture of what is in our hearts.
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. Matthew 12:34-36
Ouch!
That doesn’t sound like God thinks our words are harmless does it?
When we were children my mom was pretty strict about how we spoke to each other. Stupid was not a word we were allowed to use about another person. You didn’t say negative things about each other, ever.
It might be a side-effect of this that I never developed a thick skin.
But I’m thankful for those rules my mom had. I’m thankful for the perspective I gained in realizing that what you say about a person can have far reaching effects in their life.
I have a memory of a couple friends of mine speaking about me in front of me, the conversation went something like this:
Friend One, “Joy you are such a goody-two-shoes.”
Friend Two, “I know! It is SO annoying!”
I’m still friends with both of these girls, in fact friend two is one of my closest friends. I’ve talked to her about this memory and she honestly doesn’t recall it at all. But the memory stuck in MY mind like a thorn. In many ways the observation was true, I didn’t condemn people or judge them, but generally speaking I kept to a “higher moral code” if you will, than many people my age did. I was regularly observed to be the “stick-in-the-mud” who was spoiling the fun.
Because of these observations I drew into myself. It made it even harder for me to reach out and relate to everyone else, because I felt like they wouldn’t like me for me. Now truly, I was and have always been appreciated by my friends for the person that I am, but honestly I’ve had times in my life where I had a hard time seeing that. Something in me told me I had to be something different than I was or I wouldn’t be accepted.
Now honestly this example is pretty mild, still it had a profound affect on my life.
What we say to people, especially children, really does have a huge impact in their lives.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
Pierce like swords…. last time I checked swords could do a lot of damage, and they leave lasting scars.
Do we live like we understand this? One thing that grieves my heart is when I see parents speaking negatively about their children. Don’t they understand the wounds they cause? God gave us our tongues, our mouths, it was never a tool meant to use to pull people down, but to build people up!
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
What comes out of our mouths is so important, and it doesn’t just affect other people, but ourselves as well!
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:6
Those who guard their months and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23
It really does show what is in our hearts, and what we allow out of it can really infect us in ways we don’t realize. Speak enough negatively and your heart becomes increasingly cynical and negative, which produces more negative and hurtful speech. But fill your mouth with good things and it will trickle down into your heart!
The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just. Psalm 37:30
Lord who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; Psalm 15:1-3
I encourage you today to take a heart check moment. Examine your speech, think about what you say about people. Are your words used to build up or pull down? Are your words used to slander and find fault or to praise and encourage? Is your tongue a fire that burns or a soothing balm to the souls of those around you?
No matter where you find yourself in this area, commit today to use your mouth more for its true purpose, and that is to bring God praise! As you fill your mouth and mind and heart with Him, inviting Him into every area of your life, you’ll find yourself transformed!
My tongue will proclaim your righteousness, your praises all day long. Psalm 35:28
~Joy Aletheia Stevens
Photo Credit: By Rose Arisen (Rosy Highwater) (CC BY 2.0)
Photo Credit: by Mindaugas Danes (CC BY 2.0)
Photo Credit: by JoshSemans (CC BY 2.0)
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