I once heard a story about a culture that did not consider an adult to be a true “adult” until they had a child. An internet search can’t find confirmation of this culture, but I find the idea to be interesting. The idea that we don’t really understand responsibility until we are responsible for another person, a person who is totally and completely dependent on us.

I mean, its not that a person can’t be a responsible and mature adult without having a child, but I do see a point. Having a person completely and solely dependent on you is very different than being completely dependent on yourself. One person alone, or even two people as a couple, they can generally speaking pick up and go and do fairly easily. Their choices and decisions are about themselves. But when a baby enters the equation, all of a sudden every choice is colored, every action managed, all for that little bundle. That tiny little itty bitty  is a huge and demanding responsibility, and one of the greatest blessings I have ever experienced.

There are many out there that don’t seem to like the word “responsibility” much. It doesn’t take much looking around you to find people skirting their responsibilities in one way or another. Those who refuse to grow up is a big one, or those who duck the emotional responsibilities of home by staying in the office. Youth in particular seem to have a very large aversion to it. And most of the dreaming and planning of the “responsible” adults is for a golden time called “retirement” where they won’t have to have any anymore.

But we were never meant to have no responsibility.

I remember another study I heard of, where they studied the longest living people on earth, one thing they found in common was that these were active people who didn’t just retire and throw off responsibility but kept going even as they aged. Not saying retirement is bad, but I think it really shows a principle.

We were created to have responsibility.

We were created to have purpose.

Even in the perfect garden before the fall, God assigned Adam and Eve responsibility.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Genesis 1:28

In the garden God gave the earth to us to take care of. Oh I know some might read that verse and only see the words “subdue” and “rule,” but a good ruler “cares for” what is placed in his charge.

Even in eternity it speaks of our having responsibility, reigning with Christ.

Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. 2 Timothy 2:11-12a

We were always meant to have responsibility set before us. We were always meant to have purpose.

When we live a life that throws off our responsibility we shortchange ourselves. We undercut our own value and we rob ourselves of purpose.

But responsibility is intimidating! So frightening and scary! We don’t want to grow up, we want to be Peter Pan in his Neverland and never ever have to grow up and be “responsible.”

Not only does it not sound “fun” but we are so often afraid that we will fail if we try, and if we fail then we show ourselves to be failures.

Better to stay in Neverland.

So, like what I’ve said before, we embrace senseless and meaningless accomplishment and avoid the things that really matter.

And we rob ourselves of all we could be.

“In the end, the only people who fail are those who don’t try.” -David Viscott

It’s such a true statement. But I’ll be the first to line up and say I’m just so very afraid to try. I have so many dreams, goals, desires, things I’ve always felt God placed in me, but I have always been so very afraid to try.

I’ll admit, some days I’m afraid to live.

Because that is what responsibility is!

It is Living!

And yes, it is a risk. It’s a risk of falling flat on your face in failure, again and again and again. But if you never take that risk, you rob yourself.

But the beautiful thing that we need to embrace is that we are not taking this risk alone! God is with us every step of the way, and He never would burden us with more than we can bear. In Him, we can find rest, even as we take on all He has for us!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

And the heart of this responsibility? This living? It’s loving! It’s living for something and someone beyond yourself! Like in the society that doesn’t consider a person a true adult until their whole world is wrapped up in a tiny person who is completely dependent on them.

We aren’t meant to be stagnant creatures who never grow. We aren’t meant to live in Neverland. And though it might seem like a nice idea, I believe most who try find the results to be stale and uninviting.

We were meant for adventure and purpose and expression and beauty and LIFE! So lets step out and risk a little responsibility.

~Joy Aletheia Stevens

Photo Credit: Baby Fingers by Thomas (CC BY 2.0)   

Photo Credit: Exit Light by Thomas & Dianne Jones (CC BY 2.0)  

Photo Credit: heart is in my hands by Shimelle Laine  (CC BY 2.0)