“Hope” is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—I’ve heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.-Emily Dickinson
I’m crying out for hope in this moment.
Hope that we’ll get through.
It’s maddening really, that something as mundane as money, or its lack, can be so paralyzing.
You know that moment where you thought things were bad, and then they just get worse? That is where our finances are living right now.
I don’t even know how we are going to buy food this week.
We have little bits. We have cans of this and that. We have potatoes.
Maybe we’ll get through?
My husband is sitting at his computer, he’s trying to balance what won’t be balanced. Shift numbers around somehow.
I still don’t know what to do.
But as I’m sitting here looking at my daughter coloring at the coffee table I am desperately trying to remember hope.
We named our daughter with intention.
Her name means God is Gracious, or God’s Gracious Gift.
Her middle name is Hope.
God’s Gracious Gift of Hope.
I’m holding on to that right now. In this moment. Because Hope really is a gift, and it is always offered.
The hope that God cares for me and for my family. He sees me and my family. He has a plan for me and my family.
I may not see it right now, but He does.
I only see all the things we need right at this minute. I’m stuck in this thing called “time” that is linear and unforgiving in its narrowness. God isn’t.
I’m stuck here, blind to our next step.
He isn’t.
So I really have only the one choice to make.
Either despair, or hope.
Reach out my hand into the blind place in front of me, grasp His hands firmly, focus completely just on His face, and keep walking.
Just keep walking straight into His light and life and hope.
Trusting that no matter what happens, my families tomorrow is in His hands.
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24
Amazingly beautiful. He has a plan. I know you can’t see it right now. I know the fog is thick. I know you feel like you are being poured out. It’s only so he can fill you up again, more deeply, more intimately, than before. This season of clinging to Him, only knowing Him and His sustaining grace, will be the making of you. He is molding you, shaping you, in His image. Trust that He is good. xx
You know, when you are in times like this it is so hard to say “God’s grace is here.” But it is in times like this that God teaches us so much. In that regard they hold immense value. Doesn’t mean they aren’t still hard.