Let me share a Facebook status from my page on my birthday with you:
I want to live fully at every age.
You know what? I hope I am always proud of my age. I never want to hide it. I want to be just as excited at turning 49 as I am 29. I want to feel just as blessed at 55 or 65 or however long God gives me on this planet. Age is not something to be ashamed of. I’ve heard a few people mention something about now I can stop at 29, but I don’t want to! I want to turn 30 next year, and 31 the year after that. I want to be grateful for each and every year, each and every stretch mark, wrinkle, sag, grey hair. I want to live fully at every age, not ever wasting time in effort to be younger than I am. When we are young we are always rushing forward to be older, and then we are always trying to rush back again. Who says life is fullest from 16-25? Every age has its own blessings and fullness that is unique to it, keep trying to bring back the blessings of the past or the future and you’ll miss the blessings of the now!
This is something I’ve always felt so strongly about, but you know what? I was apprehensive as I typed about turning 55 or 65 or even 49.
But not because I was afraid of growing that old.
Rather I was afraid I won’t.
Whenever I think to far ahead in the future I’m confronted by the reality that I may not live that long. Oh I know this is true for all of us, but for me, well its a little more in my face.
When cirrhosis of the liver is diagnosed during the last stage, the life expectancy is very poor, about 1-3 years, depending upon the patient’s overall health, prompt use of advanced treatment, etc.Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/cirrhosis-of-the-liver-prognosis.html
I read something like that and the insides of me start to panic, feeling like I could drop dead any moment.
Because, well, there are four stages of liver disease. I’m stage four, last stage, have been for a bit longer than 1-3 years.
I’ve been stage four for fourteen years.
At least that is what my doctor tells me.
So why aren’t I dead? And do I have even the remotest hope of lasting long enough to see my daughter grow up?
Live today!
I’ve learned a few things in dealing with my medical situation. One thing I’ve learned is not to think about it, not to ask questions. I’m the kind of person who wants to know everything about everything, but the thing is when I read about liver disease it doesn’t help me at all.
I’ve also learned not to think about “if’s.” Not to think about how long I will live, but instead to obstinately refuse to do anything but trust God with my life, and how long it lasts.
The last thing I’ve learned? Live today! Chase today! Be thankful for today! This moment is a gift to you that you’ll never receive again. The friends you have may not be there tomorrow, your health and wellness might not be there tomorrow, life is fragile and shatters in a flash. So live today.Because I am thankful to be 29, to be a mom, to be a wife. And I will be so thankful to make it to 30, and 40, and 50, and 60. Because for me especially, but for all of us in actuality, tomorrow is never guaranteed.
~Joy Aletheia Stevens
Photo Credit: by Vinoth Chandra (CC BY 2.0)
Photo Credit: by Dmitry Kichenko (CC BY 2.0)
Leave a Reply