And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
As I am sitting here, I am very aware of every hour ahead of me this coming week, aware that my body will be broken.
I’m scheduled for a cesarean in two days. (September 21st, 2016) Not long now and I’ll sign over release forms trusting my life to a doctor with a knife. I will be broken.
Cesarean’s are routine these days, the risks are minimal, yet risk still exists. And due to my own medical history my risks are rather high. Still, I know it is worth it, because at the end of my brokenness there will be a son.
Birth, in whatever form it takes, always brings pain and brokenness, it is a baptism of blood and tears. But it also brings forth new life!
Mothers the world over approach the day of childbirth with trepidation and fear. They know it is an ordeal that will push them to their limits. My body will break to bring life to my son.
And as time pushes me towards this day of broken, my mind goes to a Man Whose body was broken to bring life to me.
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
I think of a Man who knelt in a garden, asking for this cup of broken to pass over Him, a Man who felt trepidation as He faced an ordeal that would push Him beyond every limit.
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
I will receive a cut on my body, His was whipped and pierced. My body will lose blood, His blood was poured out. My mind is aware of and willing to face this ordeal for my child. He willingly laid down His life, took every pain, for me. I risk my life, He gave His.
he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
And in a baptism of water and blood my child comes forth, in a baptism of Spirit He redeems my soul.
Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.
Every mother knows the willingness to be broken to bring forth a child, but do we understand His willingness to be broken for us?
Are we willing to be broken for Him? Are we willing to be broken to bring life to others?
You see, this is the life we are called to live. We are called to be broken before Him, to lay down our lives for His glory, to show others the way of life!
It’s a beautiful thing, childbirth. Everyone says so.
But how can a thing covered in blood and pain be beautiful?
How is it so worth every pain, every drop of blood?
Why? What makes this agony beautiful? What makes it something a woman will embrace? Something she even desires? Something one might even call an honor?
What makes the cross heartbreakingly beautiful? A symbol of pain and death, that now shows hope and life?
Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?”
What makes pain beautiful?
Are we willing to go through pain for the sake of life? Can we go through trial and tears and brokenness with the knowledge that God will use us to bring Him glory? Are we willing to be a living testimony for His glory, even if being so will bring us pain?
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him,
Laying down her life for her child is instinctual for a mother, and we understand the concept of sacrificing our life for a friend.
But will we lay down our lives for the sake of the soul of a stranger? Can we be broken for His use, without question? Do we love and trust Him that much?
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.
1 John 3:16
We can trust Him through every pain, after all He doesn’t ask us to do what He has not already done. He asks us to lay down our lives, to risk being broken, even to risk death, He embraced it.
Maybe, if we learn to trust Him here, in a place of trepidation and pain, maybe we can find beauty in a place we never expected, and find life right where we thought we’d find death.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Today, I lay my life, and the life of my child, before His throne, and I say I trust Him.
It isn’t easy, but I trust Him. Yes, I trust Him with my life, I trust Him with my pain, I trust Him with my son. I trust that He will use me in whatever way will bring Him glory.
I am broken, but I’m not defeated, because as I am broken, I find grace and life!
That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.
1 Timothy 4:10