A while ago my pastor compared God’s love and obsession over us to that of an expectant parent. The thought caught my mind and imagination. Think about it! Even before time began, He lovingly created a place for us to exist. He planted a garden with good food to eat, and made a world, vast and beautiful, to explore. He hung stars in the sky to catch our wonder, and seeded deep oceans to brighten our eyes.
As a young mother that time of anticipation and preparation wasn’t all that long ago. There was so much to do, to plan. My pregnancy was overrun with doctor appointments and taking special care of myself, not for my sake, but for this little person inside of me whom I didn’t even know yet.
There was a wonder in bringing life. And even now every day brings the excitement of watching this little persons personality unfold. It was obvious to me, even in the beginning, that she was an independent sort of person. As time as gone by an unfolding happens before my eyes revealing her sweetness, compassion and kindness, her desire for order and cleanliness, her love of beauty and words. She’s only two but already these traits are very strong.
I wonder if God ever feels this way with us? He knows us of course, better than we know ourselves. But does it catch His excitement to watch our personalities grow into the people He knows we are meant to be?
It touches my heart in a way I can’t express when I see my daughter cuddle her dolls and try to feed and care for them. It touches it even more deeply when I see her notice an upset adult or child and actually go over and try to give comfort. Of course then I can’t help but laugh and roll my eyes as, at the same time she’s trying to comfort a crying friend, she tries to take away their toy because she wants it!
Isn’t that just like us? We can be such little children in our stumbling to do what is right. On the one hand we mean well, but then we find ourselves doing something hurtful or wrong before we even realized we did it!
But God knew we would do all of that. He knew every fumble and mistake we would make before we ever made it. And He still, before time even began, was preparing for us in a heart full of love.
A new parent doesn’t like to think of the pain their child might bring them, but an honest one will realize that they will. But God didn’t just have a vague idea of these mistakes, but an actual factual knowledge. Still, He worked to make this landscape of love for us.
Did He feel the pain of our rejection already? Did He already know the agony of the death we’d bring Christ? I’ve always believed that God is outside of what we know as time, that He exists on a dimension, if you will, that is beyond our scientific scope. If that’s the case though, then even as He was laying the foundations for the children He would love, He was already experiencing all the broken heartedness, the grief, and the pain, that we would bring Him.
A parent loves their children no matter what they do, or at least most do and should. But if we knew every pain they would bring us in the moments of anticipation of their birth, would we be so eager?
Maybe, maybe not.
But its clear that for God Himself, our actions and all that we would put Him through simply did not matter in the scope of His love. He weeps over our mistakes, He grieves over our rebellion, and His heart is broken over our sin, but at that same moment He rejoices over us with such a joy we could not even fathom, He obsesses over us like a Mother over her tiny babies toes, He loves us with a love that overflows the universe. He gives us everything, beauty, breath, adventure, provision, and his very life, always.
Such a huge amount of sacrifice and love in some ways makes me feel very small, and maybe not very worthy, in fact not worthy at all. There is nothing about me that says I deserve this kind of love.
But than, when we love our babies as they move in our wombs, when we are overcome by love for them when they snuggle into our arms, have they done anything to make them worth loving?
Their very existence makes them worth loving doesn’t it? This is my child! I weep over her, pray over her, obsess over her, and love her, not because of anything she’s done, but because of who she is. She is my child.
And no matter what she does she will always be my child. No matter where she goes or how she may change for better or for worse she will always be my child. There will be a day when she doesn’t need me so very much anymore, but my love for her will remain.
I am God’s child! No matter what I do I will always be God’s child. No matter where I go or how I may change for better or for worse I will always be God’s child. There will NEVER be a day when I don’t need Him anymore, but even if I reject that belief, His love for me will always remain.
We are loved, not because of what we do, but because of who we are.
God will always love you, because you are His child.
~Joy Aletheia Stevens