It hurts, watching the world splintering in fear. It hurts so much, and I grieve over so much pain.
I get online and it’s the first thing I see in the morning, more fear:
I’m not shocked, I’m horrified and grieved but not shocked.
I hate that I’m not shocked.
And I feel the fear grow.
I haven’t written a post in months, to caught up in pregnancy hormones. So often I’ve thought I should as one scene of death after another has rocked our hearts, but I just couldn’t find the words.
I’ve wanted to escape this tidal wave. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
It feels to be growing from all sides, on our shores and abroad, with many faces, all full of hate.
Orlando, Dallas, Baton Rouge, Nice France.
And I feel the fear grow.
The world is shaking, I feel it in my core, everything that can be shaken is being shaken.
I hold my daughter to myself, I place my hand over the little one growing in my womb, and I fight back despair. What kind of world are we giving them? They are so innocent, will it last?
And I am shaken.
And I break.
And I turn, fall on my knees, and pray.
It is only in Christ I find solid ground, all else shakes.
Questions slowly give way to confidence in this One Whom I trust.
Fear, slowly, gives way for faith.
I have no answers, but I know He does. It is enough.
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
I still grieve, my heart still aches, but without the fear I can now pray for those who do fear, who feel no hope, and I can reach out and risk my heart to love once more.
Fear builds a wall around the heart and soul that will not allow for any contact, and what we need right now, so much, is contact. We cannot, we must not draw away in fear. We must engage.
Because all the earth is shaking, and only in Christ is solid ground.
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22
Do you feel helpless? I do. I feel so very helpless.
It is a lie.
I am not helpless. I am not without the ability to engage and fight against this agony that seeks to destroy. I am mighty in the sphere in which I exist. So are you.
Because all of us have a sphere of influence, a place we have been given by God to operate and live, and in that place we are called.
So every time you look out at the world and feel torn in your heart, turn around and love someone else who feels torn.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Every time you feel the fear try to take hold, turn around and throw down a gauntlet of faith.
Choose to trust the One who sees what you cannot.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
Every time you see the pain, the stories, the hurt, the conflict, in person or on social media or on the news, hit your knees and pray, and I’ll pray too, and as we each join our voices together and intercede we can know we are not facing this alone, we are together, and Christ Himself intercedes with us.
Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Hebrews 7:25
There is hope even now.
Sometimes the darkest places shine with the brightest hope.
Like that dark day where Christ hung on a tree, no one could see that it was really a victory.
But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
I will call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain.
I will lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.